So...I'm irritable as hell and it's driving everyone around me to be irritable. This is not a good thing when you're in a home with two women who are PMSing or about to start PMSing. Maybe I'M PMSing! Regardless, I'm not enjoying being cranky all the time. Except when I sleep.
Speaking of sleep, I had another major bizarre dream last night. I attended a funeral at a hardware store. Many of you were there and it was great to see you! I have no idea who died or why the funeral was being held at a hardware store, but the great thing was I found some unique and interesting tools to add to my tool box.
For my readers who have successfully quit smoking, I have this question: did you dream about smoking? In my dream last night, I dreamed I stepped outside with some fellow funeral attendees to have a smoke, but I couldn't light the cigarette. Every time I tried, the wind would blow it out or the lighter just simply wouldn't light. But I remember wanting to smoke that cigarette so badly. I'm sure it was some subconscious message telling me I don't need to smoke, but I remember that I wanted to smoke.
I've been told by some of you who've successfully quit smoking that there are many times when you still want or desire a cigarette even after 10-20 years of not smoking. Even after two days of not smoking, I do find the smell of it nauseating. I guess that's a good thing or, at least, a good start.
I hope the irritability begins to taper off soon. I know, I know...I'm sure there are a few (maybe many) people saying, "But Craig, you're ALWAYS irritable." I'll give you that, but imagine me MORE irritable than I usually am and you may start to understand the elevated level of anxiety I'm experiencing.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Day 1 of Smoking Cessation...
Today's the first day I'm attempting to go without a cigarette. It sucks. What I'm trying to do is focus not so much on the fact that I really want a cigarette, but on the fact that it's an expensive habit. A pack of smokes here in Connecticut is nearly $8 per pack. If I just smoke one pack a day, that's around $240 per month or nearly $3,000 per year! But I didn't just smoke one pack per day. Sometimes I would smoke close to two packs, but very rarely did I smoke less than a pack on a daily basis.
Cigarettes are not expensive to produce nor sell. A pack of smokes only costs about $0.47 to produce. The gap between the costs to produce and the price at the local convenience store is primarily taxes. And when I smoked, I never voted for a single tax increase on cigarettes nor any tobacco products. Of course, the only reason I didn't vote on these taxes is because I wasn't given the opportunity to vote on them. Like many of our taxes, tobacco taxes are considered a "luxury tax" because tobacco products, liquor, beer, etc. are considered to be products that we really don't need, but we want them for our own pleasure. It's just another shining example of how we allow our government to tax us without any representation. Of course, Congress knows this because a majority of us don't smoke or chew tobacco. Only about ten percent of us do, but we get to pay 100% of the tax. Some would say that this type of taxation is analogous to the healthcare debate, but I'm talking about smoking here, not healthcare.
I'm discovering (although I already knew it) that I'm a "situational smoker". I would smoke while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. I would then pour myself a cup of coffee, step outside and enjoy another cigarette while watching the news through the kitchen window. If someone called me on the phone, I would grab my smokes and step outside for a cigarette. While driving, I would smoke because it gave me something to do while I complained about all the sucky drivers around town. And if I was drinking, it was just a natural combination. I hated it when various cities started banning smoking in bars. I could understand banning restaurant smoking, but bars?
That was until I had a dear, close friend of mine die of a rare form of lung cancer attributed to high levels of stress and second-hand smoke. I won't go into the details of the stress my buddy was going through, but we played in bands together and he played in various clubs for most of his adult life. He didn't smoke either.
I've been saying I was going to quit for years. It's actually been more like decades. But I was always able to find an excuse to NOT quit...I'm going through a divorce...I worked for Enron...I just lost my wallet...I think it's about to start raining. I could find an excuse to not quit in any given situation.
So this time, I've decided to focus on the monetary savings of quitting more so than missing the pleasure of smoking. I've heard that you never quit a habit, you simply replace that habit with another habit. Some people turn to food. Some turn to exercise. My choice is to turn to chewing gum and exercise. At least I'll have great smelling breath and be in shape!
Stay tuned...
Cigarettes are not expensive to produce nor sell. A pack of smokes only costs about $0.47 to produce. The gap between the costs to produce and the price at the local convenience store is primarily taxes. And when I smoked, I never voted for a single tax increase on cigarettes nor any tobacco products. Of course, the only reason I didn't vote on these taxes is because I wasn't given the opportunity to vote on them. Like many of our taxes, tobacco taxes are considered a "luxury tax" because tobacco products, liquor, beer, etc. are considered to be products that we really don't need, but we want them for our own pleasure. It's just another shining example of how we allow our government to tax us without any representation. Of course, Congress knows this because a majority of us don't smoke or chew tobacco. Only about ten percent of us do, but we get to pay 100% of the tax. Some would say that this type of taxation is analogous to the healthcare debate, but I'm talking about smoking here, not healthcare.
I'm discovering (although I already knew it) that I'm a "situational smoker". I would smoke while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. I would then pour myself a cup of coffee, step outside and enjoy another cigarette while watching the news through the kitchen window. If someone called me on the phone, I would grab my smokes and step outside for a cigarette. While driving, I would smoke because it gave me something to do while I complained about all the sucky drivers around town. And if I was drinking, it was just a natural combination. I hated it when various cities started banning smoking in bars. I could understand banning restaurant smoking, but bars?
That was until I had a dear, close friend of mine die of a rare form of lung cancer attributed to high levels of stress and second-hand smoke. I won't go into the details of the stress my buddy was going through, but we played in bands together and he played in various clubs for most of his adult life. He didn't smoke either.
I've been saying I was going to quit for years. It's actually been more like decades. But I was always able to find an excuse to NOT quit...I'm going through a divorce...I worked for Enron...I just lost my wallet...I think it's about to start raining. I could find an excuse to not quit in any given situation.
So this time, I've decided to focus on the monetary savings of quitting more so than missing the pleasure of smoking. I've heard that you never quit a habit, you simply replace that habit with another habit. Some people turn to food. Some turn to exercise. My choice is to turn to chewing gum and exercise. At least I'll have great smelling breath and be in shape!
Stay tuned...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Quitting...
I'm in the process of quitting. Not quitting life or being sarcastic or disgruntled, but quitting one of the most deadly and despicable habits known to man. Smoking.
I use the term process because it's not something I've been able to do on my own before. And it's also something I've said I would do for several years now. It just wasn't convenient for me at those times.
About a year ago, I asked my doctor for a prescription for Chantix. For many years, I had heard people rave about the efficacy of this drug. But my biggest obstacle was the list of side effects that were reported in the disclaimers for the drug. Dizziness, upset stomach, gas, bloating, nausea, constipation, vomiting and sleep problems. And these were just the "common" side effects. But I was also concerned about the less common side effects such as depression and suicidal thoughts.
I put off taking the drug all this time, but I've been on it for a week now and there's really only three side effects I've noticed. I fart more and I actually remember my dreams. The other side effect, according to my fiance, is I don't snore like I used to. I'm not a BIG snorer, but she's a light sleeper. If I just wheeze in my sleep a little, she wakes up.
Besides the increased fart frequency, I'm also kind of enjoying my "vivid, unusual, or strange dreams." I have no idea how often I dream. I rarely remember my dreams. But on Chantix, my dreams are fairly detailed AND memorable.
Last night, I dreamed I was back in college, but I was attending a class off-campus and it was being conducted in a retail strip center right next to the coolest 7-11 convenience store I've ever seen in my life! It had everything and I mean EVERYTHING! There were great smells and sounds and lighting. It was like a place you would want to hang out in all day. I don't recall what I bought in my dream, but I'm sure it was the best tasting whatever-it-was thing I'd ever had.
So, I leave my dream 7-11 and go next door to my class. I sit down next to this really "dreamy" woman, but as soon as I get settled into my chair, she starts talking really loud to me while the professor is giving his lecture. I'm amused in my dream that the professor doesn't seem to notice and he keeps giving the lecture like there's nothing going on. I finally "shush" the girl to be quiet and she stops. Next thing I know, class is over and I have no idea what the professor was talking about and I don't have any notes written down to show for it.
As I'm walking back to my car, the girl walks with me and begins talking, but, again, I have no idea what she's talking about. The next thing I know is I feel a hand on my shoulder from somebody behind me. I turn around and it's the big, football-player-looking guy asking me why I'm walking with this girl. I looked right at him and said, "I have no idea who she is and I don't know why she's talking to me."
He responds back with, "Well, she's my girlfriend and you better leave her alone."
When I attempted to explain that all I did was unsuccessfully get her to shush her mouth during class, he pulled one of those "I'm gonna pretend like I'm gonna hit you, but just to make you flinch" moves. Of course, I flinched and he got a good laugh out of it. I hated that when I was a kid and I still hate it in my dreams.
I was then awoken by the sound of footsteps in the house. I'm not sure if someone was actually walking around or if it was our resident ghost, but I wish I could've finished the dream with me getting even with that girl's boyfriend. Not really. I could care less. But I do wish I could find that 7-11 again.
I use the term process because it's not something I've been able to do on my own before. And it's also something I've said I would do for several years now. It just wasn't convenient for me at those times.
About a year ago, I asked my doctor for a prescription for Chantix. For many years, I had heard people rave about the efficacy of this drug. But my biggest obstacle was the list of side effects that were reported in the disclaimers for the drug. Dizziness, upset stomach, gas, bloating, nausea, constipation, vomiting and sleep problems. And these were just the "common" side effects. But I was also concerned about the less common side effects such as depression and suicidal thoughts.
I put off taking the drug all this time, but I've been on it for a week now and there's really only three side effects I've noticed. I fart more and I actually remember my dreams. The other side effect, according to my fiance, is I don't snore like I used to. I'm not a BIG snorer, but she's a light sleeper. If I just wheeze in my sleep a little, she wakes up.
Besides the increased fart frequency, I'm also kind of enjoying my "vivid, unusual, or strange dreams." I have no idea how often I dream. I rarely remember my dreams. But on Chantix, my dreams are fairly detailed AND memorable.
Last night, I dreamed I was back in college, but I was attending a class off-campus and it was being conducted in a retail strip center right next to the coolest 7-11 convenience store I've ever seen in my life! It had everything and I mean EVERYTHING! There were great smells and sounds and lighting. It was like a place you would want to hang out in all day. I don't recall what I bought in my dream, but I'm sure it was the best tasting whatever-it-was thing I'd ever had.
So, I leave my dream 7-11 and go next door to my class. I sit down next to this really "dreamy" woman, but as soon as I get settled into my chair, she starts talking really loud to me while the professor is giving his lecture. I'm amused in my dream that the professor doesn't seem to notice and he keeps giving the lecture like there's nothing going on. I finally "shush" the girl to be quiet and she stops. Next thing I know, class is over and I have no idea what the professor was talking about and I don't have any notes written down to show for it.
As I'm walking back to my car, the girl walks with me and begins talking, but, again, I have no idea what she's talking about. The next thing I know is I feel a hand on my shoulder from somebody behind me. I turn around and it's the big, football-player-looking guy asking me why I'm walking with this girl. I looked right at him and said, "I have no idea who she is and I don't know why she's talking to me."
He responds back with, "Well, she's my girlfriend and you better leave her alone."
When I attempted to explain that all I did was unsuccessfully get her to shush her mouth during class, he pulled one of those "I'm gonna pretend like I'm gonna hit you, but just to make you flinch" moves. Of course, I flinched and he got a good laugh out of it. I hated that when I was a kid and I still hate it in my dreams.
I was then awoken by the sound of footsteps in the house. I'm not sure if someone was actually walking around or if it was our resident ghost, but I wish I could've finished the dream with me getting even with that girl's boyfriend. Not really. I could care less. But I do wish I could find that 7-11 again.
Let's Stir the Pot...
I'm ALL FOR health care reform. Yep, I really am. I'm all for transportability of health insurance. I'm all for not losing health care because I happen to get sick or have a preexisting condition. I'm all for parents being able to provide health insurance for their kids when they can't find a job after college. I'm also for tort reform.
I believe there are a multitude of things congress (sic) can do to create laws that force insurance companies to provide adequate and affordable coverage to every American citizen. The problem is they're going about it the wrong way. Instead of listening to the people of this country, instead of listening to doctors who provide healthcare, they decided to do what they think is best for all us. It's that old, "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.
I question the judgement of those who believe our government knows what's best for us. Not just with healthcare, but with ALL things. I guess these are the same people who believe it's someone else's responsibility to educate their kids about sex, drugs, religion, morals, thinking for themselves, healthy diets, personal responsibility and a multitude of other useful life skills.
"Do unto others" isn't followed by, "before they do unto you." It's about having mutual respect for people. Congress has decided that they know better. They know what we need regardless of whether we want it or not. Or even HOW we want it. Congress has disrespected a majority of our country and those people will not quickly forget.
The irony of the entire ordeal is this: the entities who will benefit the greatest from government run health are...THE INSURANCE AND DRUG COMPANIES! Don't believe me? Wall Street seems to think so and those stocks are rising in today's trading.
This isn't the end. It's only the beginning.
I believe there are a multitude of things congress (sic) can do to create laws that force insurance companies to provide adequate and affordable coverage to every American citizen. The problem is they're going about it the wrong way. Instead of listening to the people of this country, instead of listening to doctors who provide healthcare, they decided to do what they think is best for all us. It's that old, "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.
I question the judgement of those who believe our government knows what's best for us. Not just with healthcare, but with ALL things. I guess these are the same people who believe it's someone else's responsibility to educate their kids about sex, drugs, religion, morals, thinking for themselves, healthy diets, personal responsibility and a multitude of other useful life skills.
"Do unto others" isn't followed by, "before they do unto you." It's about having mutual respect for people. Congress has decided that they know better. They know what we need regardless of whether we want it or not. Or even HOW we want it. Congress has disrespected a majority of our country and those people will not quickly forget.
The irony of the entire ordeal is this: the entities who will benefit the greatest from government run health are...THE INSURANCE AND DRUG COMPANIES! Don't believe me? Wall Street seems to think so and those stocks are rising in today's trading.
This isn't the end. It's only the beginning.
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